is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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