weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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