I wish i was in the wii world.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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