there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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