It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
