oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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