You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
