This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
