Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
