Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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