Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
