im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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