break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
