what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
