member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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