She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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