i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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