thus making me awesome and them whores
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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