Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
