I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
