Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
