yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I deserve this hangover.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
