If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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