your thong is hanging out like whoa
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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