YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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