ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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