he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
