I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
