i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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