google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We got so high we made milksteak
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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