So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
