i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
