Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
