maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
