So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize