He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
