Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
