My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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