Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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