CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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