If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
