My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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