My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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