I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
