all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
