what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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