hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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