i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
