weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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