walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
