is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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