non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
