he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize