Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
