I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
