he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
