we're chasing vodka with high fives
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
