obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize