I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
